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Biased BBC

One of the favourite pastimes on the BBB is to talk about class. Although we do not approve of the terms "lower class" and "upper class", we are very keen to talk about the "middle class". If you think that it would not be possible to have a middle without anything either side of it you would be wrong as you will often hear "middle England" being mentioned on the BBB, and there is no "upper England" or "lower England", is there?

1. Just as we managed to virtually abolish mention of right wing and left wing (remember the BBB mantra "there is no left or right in politics now"), we have also done away with the upper and lower classes. The vast majority of our journalists and other staff are middle class and are from middle England. For this reason, despite comments to the contrary, we do not despise the middle class. We do not despise white people. However, we DO despise "white middle class people"

2. This may seem like self loathing but it must be borne in mind that BBB staff have a well practised loathing for many of the things they are part of. For instance, we loathe our own country's history and many of its traditions; we loathe environmentally damaging long distance travel; we loathe private health and private education. However, many BBB staff, especially journalists and those higher up the tree consume or are part of these very things. The self loathing process is our way of cleansing the mind and body. The fact that we attack our own class, our own country and our own way of life means that our guilt is lessened. Remember, our goal is to change the world for others, whilst leaving ours largely intact. This double standard does lead to some stress which in turn leads to alcoholism and smoking amongst some journalists. Not to worry, though, because we loathe those things too.

3. Despite the fact the majority of real people rarely discuss class and don't feel part of any particular class, it is important to keep the theme going on the BBB. Yes, it is somewhat mythical and outdated but if we keep talking about the middle class and do not mention other classes, people may feel left out and want to join our class - the one we are always talking about. We then can all live in a utopian place called middle England, voting Liberal or Green (or perhaps Labour), all ride bicycles (except BBB journalists, of course) and all take delivery of The Guardian.


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